Of Lovers and Friends
by Fiercest
Summary: She sometimes wonders why she even gets up in the morning. Then she comes across a blood soaked battlefield and unfortunately remembers.


**A/N: Reposting after proofreading is a bitch. But I went through my stories only to realise most of them are a pile of dung...So yeah. Knock yourselves out.**

A Lover

_They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.  
-Tom Bodett_

People are dying. I can feel it, taste it in my mouth, and smell the scent.

I easily slice through the blood and sinew, so easily in fact that it frightens me. Have I been so changed that I've become heartless?

Damn them all. Even if I have to do it myself I WILL make sure they're all dead. I won't lose anyone else. Many of us have lost so much, so many…everything. I won't watch it continue. I can't.

The flash of an enormous blade catches my eye. That's where I'm needed.

_[Hack, Parry, Dodge.]_

"Mashiro!" and another is lost. It's impossible to even take a moment to mourn.

The flow of enemies is beginning to stem.

_[How many have we lost? How much has been gained?]_

"Rukia, duck!" Renji comes to my rescue and stabs the man about to slit my throat. I feel sick but I can't seem to catch my breath. Bile rises in my throat.

_[Why must there be a war?]_

Renji and I cover each other's backs, like old times….when we were kids, living on the street, striving to survive. Like today.

_[There's a chill in her bones…something's wrong.]_

I turn to see Unohana standing over a limp figure. His black hair matted with blood, the captain's vest covered in the thick crimson life liquid. My brother. I empty my stomach, I'm nauseous with shock. "BYAKUYA!" Unohana is shrieking at the top of her lungs while trying to stem the blood flow. Orihime is guarding them with hershield; but she can't hold the enemy off much longer.

_[So, so wrong]_

"Renji, never mind me, protect Nii-sama!" He follows me into the fray, my best friend. I can count on him.

Unohana's hysterically pained scream of mourning rings in my ears, over and over.

"No." My eyes widen, pupils dilate and I know I'm about to break down.

_[This isn't right!]_

"Aaah!" I know that yell, that voice. There's no time to stop now. There are people alive and in danger who need my help far more than Nii-sama ever will again.

The shout was Ichigo's.

_[That pain.]_

Air constricts in my throat and I know I can't break now, not yet.

_[This is wrong.]_

My jaw sets, knees buckle, my hands start to bleed from gripping the hilt of Sode no Shirayuki.

_[This can't be happening.]_

I roared in rage; infuriated and afraid in the same moment. Adrenaline courses through my system, empowering me. I fight as hard as I can, breaking through the array of fighters towards where I need to be.

_[She won't let it]_

I cut down all in my path. Nothing will stop me from getting to him, I won't lose him too, or I might lose myself as well.

Selfishness aside, he's Ichigo Kuro-fucking-saki, he's special. He touches people in a way that leaves its mark. You can't have met him and not know him, because everything about him is so straight forward, so bright, so...Ichigo.

_[Because…]_

He isn't like me. He's found himself, found where he needs to be. I want to help him stay there. Happy. Maybe that's what my purpose is. To aid someone of great value, with a shining smile, wisdom of ages, someone who has-

_[…he has a purpose.]_

"Ichigo!" I scream, dashing across the battlefield. I spot his conspicuous hair shining through the sea of black robes and white faces, horror and gore.

He catches my eye and nods. That's when I know. That's when I know everything will be okay, that we will make it through this.

_[He's a precious person to her.]_

Back to back we fight, covering each other's blind spots. And I can't help but think this is how things should be. Me. Him. Side by side. Defeating anything that comes our way and striking down those trying to harm the other. Defending ourselves.

Me. Him. A team. Partners.

It's the way it has always been meant to be. Fighting, war; they change you. They make you angry and change who you are, but not deep inside. I know that no matter what, no matter what I see, no matter what _he_ sees the both of us will remain exactly who we've always been on the inside.

"I have to tell you something." He grunts in pain. For him to give me warning must mean it's important. He parries the blade of a traitor then runs him through.

"I don't think now's the best time." I shout back while throwing another off of me. I return back to back with my partner in this never ending duel.

_[It's times like this when he's watching out for her like this…This is when she thinks she can see a future for herself, a purpose brought into view but still out of reach…it's times like this that she thinks he might just be the best friend she's ever had.]_

"Yeah… Later." That's when I know we'll make it through today. He said later, which means there'll be a later. And I will believe that with every fiber of my being as long as he does the same. We don't ever contradict each other on important things like this.

He looked at me funny then. It wasn't a look I was used to but it was familiar. The look he gives me when he's thinking very hard and thinks I'm not looking. That expression stirs something inside me.

_[conviction, beyond anything she's ever felt.]_

Like a kind of liquid let loose inside my chest swirling around, a gas that makes me feel light headed. Love. Love for a friend, partner, or brother.

Love.

_[Because she still doesn't know what the future holds for them…and maybe that's the point. Maybe for once in her life she'll choose spontaneity and take it as it comes, hopefully laughing it up with…her friend.]_

X x X

Today's battle is done; it's a small victory for us; their retreat, but a victory nonetheless. However it is tomorrow's battle I fear, which is why I am not celebrating. Why I am not thanking whoever there is to thank that Unohana could save my brother. Tomorrow is their final stand. Wave after wave of enemies will come at us from all sides and we will lose many. Perhaps all. And I am afraid.

_[So, so scared.]_

"Tomorrow Aizen will die." I say it with finality and certainty I do not feel. "I'll kill him myself if I have to." At the back of my mind I know I must seem foolish, speaking to an empty tent.

"What brought that on?" I jumped two feet in the air.

"Sorry…I'm a little edgy lately." I whispered as I brushed a lock of midnight hair behind my ear.

He nods in understanding. He's waiting so patiently that I think he must be an impostor, but no…he's Ichigo. I would know that spiritual pressure anywhere. "I can't watch you die. Not you, not anyone else. They must die for all they've done."

His eyes are the size of dinner plates, he looks at me imploringly. "Don't." he says, "Don't you dare."

"There's not much you can do to stop me now is there?" I would easily get lost in the fray.

"Wanna bet?" he looks like he's searching for words. "I order you to stay in this tent; you won't go into the field tomorrow."

"WHAT?! They need me out there, how can you- ugh, I can't believe I'm even arguing over this. You can't order me around. I'm your superior, Ha, lieutenant badge and everything!"

"You aren't fighting!"

"Yes I am!" I scream back.

My amethyst eyes clash with his own amber in a locked stare.

Finally he seems to deflate, "What can I do to make you stay?" The look in his eyes scares me. It's that same look, the way he looks at me when he thinks I'm not paying him mind, but more intense.

I'm shaking under his scrutiny. The worst part is; he knows it.

So I shake my head before I lose the will to.

Tomorrow's where I have to be, tomorrow might be the day I die, but if I could do it over would I ever let him meet me? And as I stare at him I know my answer; yes, because I would trade nothing in this world for his friendship.

If I could do it all again, I would do it all the same.

'I'm glad I know you…'

He looks like he's having an internal battle with himself. After a long silence he speaks. "I love you."

In a mere instant my mind becomes a train wreck, "What?!"

"I love you and that's why I can't let you go out there tomorrow." He smirked, "if you were to go off on a suicide mission I'd never know your answer. Can't have that, can we?"

'What should my answer be?'

All of a sudden I was pulled to his chest, being crushed in a tight hug and without warning his lips were pressed against mine in a earth shattering, mind-blowing, passionate kiss.

"Besides, killing the bastard is my job."

Insults rose to my tongue. "Idiot!" I couldn't say more, because an intense but dull pain exploded on the crown of my head and I fell into the abyss of darkness and sleep.

_[When Rukia Kuchiki woke up the morning before she was many things; a fighter, a friend, a sister, an enemy, a teammate and role model._

_But now something has changed and even she isn't sure what yet. She hasn't found her purpose or a place she belongs yet._

_Or maybe she has because now there is something new to add to the list. Because the truth is she is in love with Ichigo Kurosaki… (She just doesn't know it yet) and he has given her something new to become._

_A lover._

_Maybe.]_


End file.
